Ian Wright is one awesome dude. Man, watching him on Lonely Planet (now Globe Trekker) on the Discovery Channel (now the Travel and Living Channel) was a prominent part of my childhood! That and watching documentaries on National Geographic. Gorgeous landscapes and colours and food. Just so beautiful. The TV was my only window to see and experience the natural landscape. Being a city girl pretty much all my life has its downsides. In some ways, I’m still new at this - roughing it and being adventurous. But I’m trying! I still like my creature comforts, but the only real times I’ve ever been truly relaxed and at one with my surroundings was when I was off the grid. Stripped from technology, surrounded by friends and experiencing something new. I think that’s what I want in life. Something peaceful but fulfilling. I guess I want something sure, but I’m in a mad rush to find it. I think I’m too used to a chaotic life. I can only imagine myself having one, but I don’t think that that is necessarily me.
Either way, it’s good to have a balance of the two and right now, I’m too stressed. Trouble is, if I am not stressed, I feel that I am not being proactive. I need to keep in mind that some R&R is good for me! I need to remember what makes me happy and to do them.
Well, I’ve taken steps. This year, I started to read more and messed about with some ukulele. Journaling a bit on this tumblr. Those were fun. Singing in choir was also good fun too - I should keep it up next year. It’s challenging, but I love having a creative outlet that allows me to learn a bit too. I’m getting better with accepting things I cannot control, even if I want to so badly. Things like the well-being of my loved ones, the outcome of my job applications, events and parts of my life. I’m not there yet, but I’m getting better. A load is off my shoulders. I am thankful for the supportive, loving people in my life that have helped me on this journey. I think all in all, I’ve made big steps forward this year that I should be proud of and grateful for.
Wasn’t that a tangent :p I guess looking at Ian has made me reflect again on my priorities. Here is a man who is living a life that, as I see it, is fulfilling to himself. I’m not actually that envious of the places he has been to - I am jealous of the passion he has for it, and what he gets out of it. I want that sense of purpose, but I need to remember that I am not alone on that one. The best thing I can do is focus on being happy. Maybe I will never find that one true passion, and maybe not many people do. It doesn’t mean I can’t have a good time while I look!
The picture above is a watercolour sketch by Ian Wright (he is an artist! You can see his gallery here). I love watercolour, but never learnt how to use it. It could be my new “thing” for 2013 (it was my ukulele for 2012). It is everything I struggle with, yet aim to have in life - serene, simple, subtle, beautiful. Watercolour finds its beauty with mistakes and accidents. You can’t control every single detail, or have much detail, when using watercolours. It makes you focus on the larger scheme of things because you play with negative space. There are no straightforward instructions to achieve beauty. No boundaries, no confinement. Just a little bit of chance, and a little bit of patience.
Learning how to use watercolours might just be the activity I need, to come to terms with these ideas.